So we've been at this parenting thing for 6.5 years now. Sometimes we feel like we've got a decent handle on things. Oftentimes we feel like we have no idea what we're doing still. Ha! (Some of you are thinking, "Man, that's a long time! They must be experts by now." Others of you are shaking your heads, chuckling, and saying, "Oh honey, you've barely scratched the surface of parenting... You've got it coming to you still!" I tend to believe the latter, myself) One thing we know for SURE is that the following resources have been incredibly influential in forming our parenting "tool box," if you will. I won't go in to a ton of detail about each resource, but I thought I would share a little blurb about each since I've had many friends ask me what we have found that works, where we got certain ideas from, etc. We are still learning every day and are fully aware that we have many many years of challenges ahead of us as the kids get older and progress through different stages. But so far in the journey, these are resources that we have loved! Some are more philosophical in nature, others are more practical, and some are a good mix of both.
I would like to preface this list by saying one thing first... We believe that a major portion of our lifetime is devoted to raising our kids and training them up in the way they should go, so taking the time to seek out wise counsel from veteran parents, and reading, learning and praying about parenting resources to use is valuable time very well spent. We don't see results overnight, and we didn't spend just one Saturday taking a class. We have invested A LOT of time in the following materials (be it on our own watching DVD's and reading, or in a group setting ) and we can't think of anything else more important, so it's been worth it to us! Life is busy, there are many other activities and hobbies and pursuits (and kids!) to take up your time, but I would encourage you to find some parenting resources that you feel good about and invest the time in your little people now so that you can reap the sweet rewards down the road.
Growing Families International is an organization that we have grown to love over the last 7 years. This link takes you to the "About" section on their website if you want to learn more about their philosophy. They fall in to the "both"category - philosophical and practical. Some of the materials we have purchased the DVD and workbooks and done them on our own. Other times we have been able to find a local class here in Colorado (through Cherry Hills Community Church) to go through the material as a group with fabulous facilitators. All of the books, CD's, DVD's, etc can be ordered from the GFI bookstore.
The bookstore link above shows all of the available parenting resources. We started with their "Preparation for Parenting" material when we were pregnant with our first baby, learning about how to help baby get on a flexible yet predictable routine with eating and sleeping, and answering many of the rookie parent's questions on what in the world to expect with a tiny new human in the family! We proceeded to go through their Babyhood Transitions material, Prep for Toddler and Toddlerhood Transitions which covers everything from naps, starting solids, highchair behavior, methods of correction, expecting/understanding/dealing with tantrums (I mean, we all think OUR kids won't do that, right!? Riiiiiiight... And then you actually have a toddler and you experience reality), ideas of how to structure a toddler's day, etc. Most recently we did the Parenting from the Tree of Life series parts 1-3 in a group setting. It was FABULOUS! This series starts off giving lots of background for how important it is to speak words of LIFE into our kids, how to know and speak your kid's (and your spouse's!) love languages in ways that matter to them, and many of the Biblical responsibilities of parents. Then it moves into the practical advice which is GOLDEN. Their teaching on obedience, correction, discernment, encouragement, and everything in between is incredibly valuable. I would say this material starts being applicable around age 4+ up through pre-teens (they have another series for parents of pre-teens and teens. Lord have mercy, we personally aren't there yet ;-). I truly don't know where we would be without the principles of GFI.
The next resource is a booked called Creative Familiy Times: Practical Activities for Building Character. I LOVE this book for littler ones! It's very short, concise, practical advice and "how-to's" to structure your toddler/preschooler's day. We do book time, play alone time, blanket time, talk time, date nights and all kinds of little ideas from here that have been game changers for our days at home. It's such a small book it's hard to see how much valuable information could be packed in there! Super practical.
Another book that we love is "Why Can't I Get My Kids to Behave?" It's so good! I'd say this book starts being more applicable for ages 4+. Definitely still some stuff in there even for teenagers! This one is a good mix of the philosophical/practical. Lot's of great tips and the reasons WHY behind behavior and correction and new habits to form. Good stuff.
The last book on the list for today is "Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus." This is probably the most important book. You can read every manual and how-to and parenting self-help book on the planet, but if you are missing passing on the message of Grace to your kids all day every day, then you're missing the whole point of parenting. I'm preaching to myself here, ya'll! I'm about 3/4 of the way through this one and need to finish it ASAP. It is a message I need to hear. Over and over. It is beautiful and refreshing and practical and encouraging and life-giving both for the reader AND for the kids who will hopefully reap the benefits as parents read :) We have loved Growing Families International and all of their material, as I first listed, but I think it's important to pair this book along with those resources. It is possible for some people to get so caught up in the formula of "do this" as a parent and your kids will be guaranteed to "do that," but sometimes it doesn't work that way. Even if we follow the parenting handbooks to a "T," we are all so very very human, and will make mistakes constantly (parents and kids!), and this book helps you understand that and how those mistakes are redeemed by Jesus all day long. Even when we feel like total failures as parents, this book is a sweet reminder that God is ultimately overseeing our kids if we let Him, and it doesn't matter how many times we fail. It only matters that we point our kids towards Him and His saving Grace when we do fall.
There you have it! Whenever anyone asks me for any kind of thoughts or advice having to do with parenting, it's almost guaranteed to come from something on the above list. There are SOOO many ideas and opinions out there and it can get overwhelming as a parent, so hopefully this list will narrow down a few options for someone out there :) Many blessings on your efforts!
(I should go finish reading the rest of "Give Them Grace" right now...my patience wears thin when my husband is on a business trip and I'm wrangling 4 little ones on my own. Here's to keeping my cool and giving them - and me - GRACE tonight! Amen!?)
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